Modern American Holidays (song)

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Quinella Quill
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:46 am

Modern American Holidays (song)

Post by Quinella Quill »

(sing to the tune of Over the River and Through the Woods)

On modern American holidays
The obligations flow.
With too many gifts
And not enough shifts,
I hope I can get a loan.


Holiday season is here again,
With Animal Rights…..Oh No!
No turkeys today,
The reindeer want pay.
The activists’ faces glow!

Schools all let out for the holidays;
My kids come home today.
Their friends and their toys
All make too much noise.
There must be a better way!


It’s much too busy, we’ll skip the mall;
To WalMart we must go!
We drive on two wheels,
And bag all the deals,
And hand over all our dough.

And now at last we are on our way
To Grandmother’s new condo!
The holiday meal
Won’t be a big deal –
She’ll order it all ‘TO GO’!


Speed down the freeway, just pass them all!
We’re late but reach our goal.
It’s family fights
And sports highlights,
As gluttony takes its toll!

Why do folks celebrate holidays supposed to bring them cheer?
In two months alone
They’re bled to the bone;
They’ll pay for it all the next year!


Is there a 'spirit of Holiday’?
It’s often puzzled me.
I really don’t know
But everything glows;
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